Mother’s day is always a bit difficult for me. It’s the small things based around the holiday that make it hard. The advertisements, hearing the word “mom,” and all the fluff around it that make me remember her absence. The first year after I lost my mom, I decided celebrate mother’s day by purchasing a painting that reminded me of my mother (pictured in this post). Ever since then, I usually try to avoid the holiday and celebrate others.
I’ve been thinking of all the women who have been mother figures to me over the past eight years, and this year I want to celebrate them. I want to thank them for loving me like their daughter. So, for those of us who have lost our mother, grandmother, godmother or someone who has been a mother figure, let’s celebrate these women by sending them cards or something special. Let’s honor our mothers on this day, but also show an act of kindness to the women who have tried to fill the gaps of our loss.
ps-I used the word “motherless” based on this book, which helped me tremendously.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom, Christiana. This August, my mom will be gone 19 years. I’ve tried really hard, prayed really hard to not let Mother’s Day be what it always seems to be–me under the covers all day crying. And, I am a mother to two wonderful boys, but I have struggled to enjoy and accept the day. This year, even though I did spend it mostly under the covers and crying, I had an epiphany much like yours. I decided to tell as many of my Theas and friends as possible thank you for filling in the mom gaps for me (a responsibility which I may one day have as well, and I’m sure it’s not an easy one). The response to a simple text was so touching, that it gave me courage to take the next step and begin honoring my mother’s life. She suffered from depression and took her own life so there is much tragedy and taboo surrounding her death, but I realized that now as a mother myself, it is my responsibility to tell our children and her other grandchildren about who she was before she got so sick. Shortly after my mother died I remember being in church (reluctantly and angrily), but after gazing at the Panagia behind the altar, I understood that she is always there for me no matter what. I think of that moment always because it brought me such peace. I pray the same for you.